Poison & Wine
by spectacularmadness
Summary: I'm not good with summaries. Loosely based on the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars.


This is a work of fiction, nothing more nothing less.

Apologies for any grammatical and typographical errors. I didn't have this story beta'd.

Enjoy

**POISON & WINE**

_**You only know what I want you to  
I know everything you don't want me to  
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine  
You think your dreams are the same as mine  
Oh I don't love you but I always will  
Oh I don't love you but I always will  
Oh I don't love you but I always will  
I always will**_

I let out a sigh, the song's been on repeat for over the better part of the day and I can't seem to make it stop or find the strength to change the song. "It's our song", he said. I never really understood why, but I liked it. _"Brainless!"_ Johanna called for the nth time, but I refused to answer. Then came the knocking, oh no, not knocking. What the woman is doing now is way beyond knocking; she's banging on my bedroom door like she's ready to destroy it with her fist. Knowing Johanna, I wouldn't put it past her. _"I swear, Katniss, you better open this door or I will get an ax and tear this fucking door down"_ See what I mean?

_**I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back  
The less I give the more I get back  
Oh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise  
I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you**_

Even with her threats, I still refuse to open the door. I just need to get my head together without being crowded. _"Fuck"_ I heard Johanna hiss then followed by her loud retreating footsteps.

Why am I holed up here in my room? Two words:

Peeta Mellark.

Who is he you might ask? He's my high school sweetheart. He's the fucking love of my life. He's the man who stood by my side despite everything. When I lost my father in a freak mining accident, Peeta held me together. When my mother zoned out and eventually killed herself during my sophomore year in college and I had to drop out to take care of Prim, Peeta dropped out and followed me home, despite my protests and his parents disapproval. To be honest, I don't know why he stayed with me. I'm the worst girlfriend in the history of all girlfriends. I've pushed him time and again but he refused to let go.

_**Oh I don't love you but I always will**__**  
Oh I don't love you but I always will**__**  
Oh I don't love you but I always will**__**  
**_

What have I done in this life to deserve someone like Peeta Mellark? He's the golden boy of Panem County. Star quarterback of Panem High School Mockingjays, Vice President of Panem High School Student Council. He's an all around Mr. Nice Guy. Every guy wants to be his friend and every girl wants to be with him. So when he started to talking to me in Junior year, I questioned his motives. "I only want to be friends, Katniss" he said. When he started joining me and my friends for lunch, everyone was shocked and confused. And when he started to walk me home and pick me up for school, everyone girl wanted to tear my hair off or kill me. Peeta Mellark tore down my defenses and made me fall for him. When Senior year came, we're in a full pledge relationship. My friends liked him, Peeta's the kind of guy who can charm anyone with his big boyish smile and friendly personality. But to me, he's golden. He's patient, kind, romantic, strong, compassionate, funny and respectful. My father loved Peeta like a son he never had.

_**Oh I don't love you but I always will**__**  
Oh I don't love you but I always will**__**  
Oh I don't love you but I always will**__**  
Oh I don't love you but I always will**_

During college, we worked hard to keep our relationship together. Peeta got a full scholarship into University of Tennessee to play football and I accepted a scholarship offer to UCSF in California. When news of my father's death reached me, I went home for a two weeks but it was Peeta who took care of everything. He held me together when I'm about to come undone. At that time I knew my mother's become depressed at my father's passing, but I trusted her enough to take care of Prim, so I went back to San Francisco and Peeta went back to Tennessee. I was in the middle of my Biology class when news of my mother's death came. Prim called me in hysterics, barely getting the words out to tell me that she came home from school only to find that our mother had killed herself. That same day, I knew, my life would change forever. I dropped out of college and went home. I needed to take care of Prim, we had no other family. Peeta stood by me. When Peeta dropped out of college, we argued, I wanted him to go back and finish college. I told him I'd always be here, waiting for him to come home but he flat out refused to listen. His mother who barely tolerated me accused me of ruining her son's life. It's true. But I couldn't find it in myself to let Peeta go. I needed him with me then as much as I needed him now.

_**I always will**__**  
I always will**__**  
I always will**__**  
I always will**_

I let the tears fall this time. I've been holding it back for far too long. The last few lines of the song floated around my room. Prim, Johanna, Gale and Finn all came to my door begging me to come out. But I can't. If I walk out of this room, I'll have to face a life without Peeta Mellark.

"Peeta…" I choked out, sobbing now. Hugging his pillow so tight like it's my lifeline. I can still smell him, cinnamon and flour. He was just here this morning, he stayed the night as we celebrate our engagement.

"_You're the love of my life, Katniss, marry me"_

His words echoed in my head. How can he be gone just as we're about to start our lives together?

"_Katniss, there's been an accident"_ Mr. Mellark's voice is thick, _"It's Peeta, we're at Panem Gen-"_

I didn't let Mr. Mellark finish. I hang up the phone ran all red lights to get to Panem General.

When I saw Peeta's mangled body lying on a gurney, I felt my knees buckling, but I held on. My heart felt like it's going to beat out of my chest. I held his hand; his blue eyes that I love so much are cloudy. His breathing was erratic, I knew that he's not going to last long, but I refused to listen to my head.

"_Peeta, I'm here" _

"_Kat"_ he whispered

"_Hey, stay with me okay?_" I asked, tears falling down my cheeks, _"I love you." _

Peeta managed to smile, his white teeth are stained with blood but it's the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.

"_Always" _he whispered and with that, Peeta Mellark took his last breath.

_**I always will**__**….**_

I sobbed, my heart breaking into million tiny pieces. The only person who can put it back together is gone. I didn't even hear Gale and Finnick breaking my door down. Johanna and Prim pulled me in to a hug. I held on to them like my life depended on it. "Peeta…" his name like a plea in my lips as the song went on to play again.

Who's Peeta Mellark?

He's the love of my life, he's everything good in me. And I will always, always love him.


End file.
